A couple of songs from Tom Smith.... I actually got to hear perform the second one live, at Marcon 2005 (possibly the very recording on the album). The lyrics come from his web site, so you really ought to buy his albums (but you CAN get the first song for free on his site)....
Cthulhu Fthagn
Words: © 2002 by Tom Smith, after Tim Rice
Music: "Hakuna Matata" by Elton John
Duet with The Great Luke Ski.
(The singers are Dagon and Abhoth; Can't remember enough mythos to figure out which part was Tom, and which was Luke)
Cthulhu Fthagn --
What a wonderful phrase!
Cthulhu Fthagn --
Say it and you're crazed!
It means "Cthulhu,
Rising out of the haze!"
It's a prophecy,
We'll all soon see
Cthulhu Fthagn.
Ahhh, yes! Cthulhu Fthagn. It's our motto, our slogan, our credo!
Oh, I hate that!
What?
Han Solo clearly shot first!
Not "Greedo", "credo"!
When he was a Outer God --
When I was a Outer God!
Easy on the reverb, sport.
He found that his form lacked a certain appeal,
All his glistening pseudopods made blood congeal.
I'm a sensitive soul! At the end of the day,
It hurt that my friends' flesh all melted away.
Oh the shame!
What a disgrace!
Till I decided to blame
The whole human race!The terrible shame!
Falling from grace!
Whose fault is it?
Yeah! What the heck where they doing
hanging around with an acidic mass of
flesh-devouring polyps, anyway?
Hey! Can I help it if I'm an "ick" magnet?
Cthulhu Fthagn!
Now we're in for strange days!
It screws up your noggin --
Turns planets into buffets!
And Great Cthulhu
Spares whoever obeys!
So get off of me,
You monstrosity!
Cthulhu Fthagn!
Cthulhu Fthagn!
Cthulhu Fthagn!
Cthulhu Fthagn!
-- if we keep doing this, he's gonna show up.
... Kewl!
It means "Cthulhu,
Rising out of the haze!"
It's insanity,
For humanity --
Cthulhu Fthagn!
I say Cthulhu!
And I say Fthagn!If I said Ithaqua,
We'd need a toboggan!
Cthulhu Fthagn!
(in the recording, after this, someone in the audience piped in, "be careful what you invoke, you might just get it" - to which Tom replied that he'd been practicing for 3 weeks, so if he was gonna show, he would have already)
House At Cthulhu Corner
Words: © 2001 by Tom Smith
Music: "House At Pooh Corner" by Kenny Loggins
Christopher Robin was slain on the altar,
Where shadows of Innsmouth run deep.
Pooh didn’t hesitate, Pooh didn’t falter,
His master’s in Rl’yeh asleep.
And I'm only a kid, I don't know what he’s doin’,
Let alone why the Great Old Ones want a stuffed bruin.
Help me if you can, I’ve got to stop
Pooh from reviving Cthulhu by one,
You’d be surprised, there’s so much to be done,
Circles to summon and bind,
Color them inside the lines,
Stop the cloth golem we all know as Winnie the Pooh….
Winnie the Pooh doesn’t know what he’s doing,
The Elder Gods got in his head.
Task after task he performs without asking
Why friend after friend turns up dead.
And the ultimate goal isn’t clearly defined,
But it’s taking a toll on his silly old mind.
Help me if you can, I’ve got to stop
Pooh from reviving Cthulhu by one,
You’d be surprised, there’s so much to be done,
Leave all the Deep Ones behind,
Making a cute Elder Sign,
Prepare for the final conflict with Winnie the Pooh….
Rabbit is missing, and Piglet was drowned
(It was thought accidental at first);
In a room without corners, Owl was et by a hound;
In his chest, Tigger’s heart up and burst.
Now there’s only us three, but we will find a way,
And I Kanga-rantee, Eeyore gonna Roo the day….
Believe me if you can, we’re gonna stop
Pooh from reviving Cthulhu by one,
What do you know, I think maybe we’re done,
Chris and my friends all alive,
Great Old Ones gone from the sky…
*yawn* Good morning, Mother, I guess I was dreaming –-
Everything’s fine – Piglet, you can stop screaming –-
What’s with that dazed look, Pooh?
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh….
